August 17 to 23, 2008

Just like Paul Harvey - page 2!

This will be the first full week of school that I've tried to work/do since January. Hopefully my strength is up enough for all of it. It still amazes me how much muscles hurt everytime you move or even holding them still. I wonder when this part will be over. Maybe one of these days it will be over.

Beginning of September

Well I made it through the weeks, and now it is the weekend after Labor Day. Next week on Thursday, I go to the plastic surgeon to set up when I will have surgery again. Hopefully, this will be around late October.

I'm also taking an online class at the moment for the next 6 weeks, as I have a student teacher who is covering a lot of my teaching duties at school. I thought that this might be the time to take a class so that I can keep my emergency teaching license. I'll have to take at least one more in the spring, but hopefully I'll feel better then. I will also need to take one more during the summer, then another year about like this one. Strategic planning for sure.

End of September 2008

The end of September is here, and I have my last surgery scheduled, it will be on October 28th. I will have my implants changed out. I've seen both of my surgeons this month. I have to go back to the main surgeon in March of '09. My plastic surgeon - well, I'll see him again October 28th and thereafter. He says that I will be down 7 to 10 days. I'll finish up my college on-line class the 13th.

I have been doing pretty good. Trying to balance work, schooling and the funeral home is always interesting, but so far I'm managing. I just make sure I get my sleep - or at least try to. Waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to get back to sleep has always been an issue, but lately I'm doing better with this.

October 5, 2008

Well, needless to say it is another sad day for the Swart family as Leonard 'Joe' Swart, has passed away. The visitation was on my son, Nicholas' birthday, October 9, 2008, and the funeral will be on Friday at First Reformed Church 'Dutch Corner.' Today, October 9th, was also the first day I retired the 'hat.'

October 12 to 24, 2008

This is a full 5 day week, next week is three days with Fall Break happening on Thursday and Friday. The Tuesday, is also Parent/Teacher conferences so I will be out late. I do not do so well in the evenings, so I'll have to make sure that I get my rest for the weekend and those nights before. Fall Break will be a welcome rest - or so I hope. The funeral home has been so busy, I really hope that this weekend is slow and quiet. We'll see what happens. ;-)

Well, conferences are over. All went well. Contrary to what most parents might think - teachers dread these conferences probably more than the parents do. I'm tired, but can't seem to get to sleep just yet. Tomorrow, the 22nd I go see Dr. Drasga (chemo dr.) in Crown Point. I'm assuming that all went well, as I have not heard to the contrary.

I checked on line today and got a 96% for my class - an "A". That was a nice issue to find for sure.

October 28, 2008

Out patient surgery is on the agenda for today. Hopefully all will go as planned and I will be home in the afternoon.

Tenative times are arrive at St. Anthony's Medical Center 6:45 a.m., surgery at 8:00 a.m. One hour of surgery and about one hour in recovery, then the trip home. Stay home from school for a week, rest and enjoy it. ;-) - Well, I got into the surgery room at 9:00 - went home at 1:00.

I'm heading for work on Monday. I am thankful for the same sub to be in my classroom the whole time I am out. That means a lot. The kids will like him too, he understands them like I do. More probably later in the week when I'm feeling a little better.

November 4, 2008

Well, today is the first day that I'm feeling human again. I woke up with 4 drains again, two came out on Thursday of last week and the last two came out on Monday of this week. Tomorrow, Wednesday, I go to see the Dr - I was to see him on Monday, but he had to leave for emergency surgery so I just saw Lili, who took out the last two drains (HURRAY! !). I'm hoping that I can go to school on Thursday -

I guess someone asked Andy why I wasn't over this just yet. I guess they do not understand the whole process. Imagine taking a pumpkin and cutting off the top, hollowing out all of insides, then trying to pull the top together and stitch it back together. The next step is like taking a ziploc baggy with washers and placing it between your chest muscles. This was the first surgery.

Now mind you the muscles of your chest are not very thick, and your sternum sticks out farther than your new chest/breasts. Every week someone puts 60 cc's of fluid into the bag to stretch your muscles. 60 cc's is like 60 sugar cubes - count out and look at how much this is. Do this until you have 560 cc's in each side - you want to be balanced. Your back muscles hurt from stretching, your neck muscles are stretched, your upper arm muscles ache, and the muscles around your arm pits cry for help. That brings up another interesting thought - the hair in your armpit is in a new location. The top half is where it is supposed to be, but the bottom half has been moved forward onto your new anatomy parts. Now you have to have another surgery, because the ziploc bag isn't made of material that can be left in your body. This time they stretch the muscles of your chest by hand some more, and now you have to have a pair of socks crammed in your arm pits to keep your body tissue from shifting from your chest to your side! Fortunately this only has had to last for a couple of weeks.

Some times I wonder if all of this was worth it, then I think of not being here and do not like that either. I thank God that the medical industry is so advanced today & for the many "true" friends that Andy and I have. I know I would not have gotten this far in this process without each and everyone of you. There are times when I just get tired of the whole process. I would like for it to be over and life to return to 'normal' whatever that might be. I'm not sure any more just what that will be like. Always worrying about this issue.

November 7, 2008
Well, I made it through Thursday and Friday at school with the kids. They are all glad to see me back. One student carries my computer in and out every day for me. I'm not supposed to pick up 10 pounds just yet. I have to go back to the doctor next week Thursday - I'm not sure if I am going to take half or the whole day off. I think I'll wait to see how tired I am on Tuesday.
November 23, 2008

Well, the Doctor doesn't want to see me for 6 weeks. I think I'll be having withdrawals from not seeing one of the doctors during that time. All is going well and I feel so much better with these implants, they give/move. The others being so 'overfilled' were hard as a rock - or so they felt anyway. At times they felt like the old Indian grinding stone. These give and feel more natural. NO more socks in the arm pits, and after 3 more weeks of 24/7 wearing a bra all will be almost normal again. They are not sore - amazingly. I'm not hurting other than if I overdo, but that usually I know at the time and just stop. I'm trying to get my strength back, but that isn't an easy process either right now. I'm getting better each day for the most part so hopefully it will continue. I even started doing the up on the stairs at school a couple of times a day. It is amazing how out of breath you get just from a couple of flights.

December 22 - I'll go back to see him again and see what else I have to do.

I have started a new hobby - turning wooden ink pens. It is fun and I like making something to say - I made it. Computers used to be my hobby, but they have been the 'hobby'/work for the last 15 years. Crocheting is fun, but anyway.

November 26, 2008

Well, the kids at school and I made it through another week. HAPPY THANKSGIVING to one and all!

We hosted Thanksgiving again this year.

December 8, 2008

Yesterday was Pearl Harbor Day, it is amazing how certain days touch your life. When I was a teen ager, my first new car was built on that day and I also found out that my uncle was married on that day. Later in life when you learn more about history because of the movies that are produced to help us all remember history and other factual events. We are supposed to learn from these events and hopefully keep them from happening again. Somedays, I wonder if the present situation we are involved in isn't a worse version of WWI and WWII. Just a thought.

I'm doing pretty good, going to school everyday and working at the funeral home. Andy bought us some pieces for a wood shop and I have been turning wooden pens - like the students at NJ-SP are doing. The students learned from the wood shop teacher and they have been working on a large project. The students are making pens from firewood for our service men and women over seas. In fact a load of pens left the high school last Friday. These students are the ones who taught me how to do it. I've really been enjoying this new hobby. Andy helps by drilling the blanks, and setting me up and I get to do the creative part of the process. We are making many of our Christmas presents this year.

There are times when I'm still having some emotional issues. Owning the funeral home and running into people who have had a similar fight with cancer really causes one to think differently. I am so thankful for finding mine while it was so small and basically (almost) contained. So many others didn't have that opportunity. We have a girl from NJ-SP who graduated last year ( Ashley Ann Derrickson). She was my inspiration through all of the chemo treatments. I kept telling myself that if she could do this I could do this. We talked about the first two treatments that I had while school was still in session, the last two I had to do while school was out and really missed the students' support. Now this young lady is fighting for her life, she has developed Leukemia and has been at Riley's for the last 6 months trying to go through a bone marrow transplant and other treatments. She is presently in a drug induced coma fighting the fight.

Another issue that is difficult to deal with is the passing of someone else who has had cancer. You are thankful it isn't you, but don't know what to say to the grieving family. I feel for your loss, I'm so sorry are beginning to get to me at times. I've lost a lot this year so far, my father and two uncles in six months. I told my last uncle to be careful and not do anything stupid. I don't think I could handle that right now. I know the Lord doesn't give any of us any more than we can handle, but we all have times of wondering or doubt. Somehow the Lord gives us the strength we need when we ask to get through everything.

I had to start a second page today - I think it has something to do with the size this page has become. I'm not sure, but at least it will be here for everyone to read and I won't have the frustration of trying to figure out why I can't add to it any longer. It is difficult to know what you have typed when it keeps disappearing from the screen.

Next week is Finals week here at North Judson, I can't believe how quickly the year has flown by. Dad always told me that as you age time flies faster than when you were a kid. I truly believe him.

December 19, 2008

Well, they called off school due to the ice that Mother Nature saw fit to leave all of us to deal with. Now we have 2 days that we will have to make up this school year. The last day of finals will be when the students return to school on the 6th of January, then we will start the new semester. Always a new challenge for sure.

Monday, I go back to see my plastic surgeon. I'm not sure what he will tell me this time around. On January 21, I go to see the Oncologist, Dr. Drasga in Crown Point for my three month check-up. Probably a blood test too, but I'm not sure what will happen.

Yesterday, we helped with a funeral at North Judson. A student I spoke of earlier, Ashley Ann Derrickson, passed away on the 12th, she was 19, she would have been 20 on the 23rd of this month. She had a cancerous tumor on her left femur 4 years ago. The doctors removed the femur, left the knuckles and put in a titanium rod for the missing piece. Told her she would never play basketball again, but she showed them and played for another year or so. She under went chemo, and many other treatments, she was a fighter, lover of life, and one of the best young people you could ever want to be around. Then last spring, after I was diagnosed and trying to figure out what I had to do, she started having problems again. She graduated the end of May, and had to go to Indianapolis (Riley's) for 3 to 6 months, or so they said. She under went a bone marrow transplant given by her oldest brother, it was to be a preventative treatment. It didn't work, and leukemia developed within 10 days she was gone. She will be sadly missed by many people, me especially. She was there to tell me what to expect, what to take with me for my first trip, what to have around, how I might feel, and everything. Ashley and other students even made a care package for me while I was out of school with my first surgery. She always had a smile on her face, one for her and one you caught looking at her. We used to share smiles at school. One of us would always be up and get the other one up, if we were having a 'bad' day. Many of the students at school joined in with this and we always kept everyone going. I've been blessed to know such a fine young girl in the elementary and a wonderful young woman in high school. The Lord knew what he was doing when he sent her to earth, and unfortunately for us, her mission is finished. Jesus got a wonderful Christmas present this year, I just hope she doesn't tire him out playing basketball.

January 4, 2009
Sunday, Andy and I are working on getting my 'new' kitchen cabinets in - actually he's doing it all, I'm the gopher again. I've also been grading the last of the projects from school and some final exams today. I'm glad that North Judson had some of the finals completed before the first ice storm hit. We still have two classes to get finished up, but we will get those completed. I'm tired but getting along well. I'll see Dr. Drasga on the 21st of this month for a blood test and check-up. Then in February I'll see my plastic surgeon again. I hope the weather is good for the rest of the winter, but something tells me to expect another week of school after the supposed end of the year.
January 24, 2009

Well, the kitchen cabinets are in! Now comes the process of where do I put what? Put it where it was before you say? Well, I have more cabinets and space to hide those kitchen things than I've ever had before.

The visit to the Dr's office was good. He told me I was the healthist person he'd seen all day. Can't believe how I'm bouncing back, but yet, I feel I'm not there. I guess I should consider all that I do teaching and working at the funeral home, and then anything else we have going, plus I've taken a college class and am going to be taking another one soon. I guess I am doing pretty well, but just doesn't seem like it. There are days when the normal day begins at 5 or 5:30 am and doesn't stop until I call it quits at the funeral home around 7 or 8. Andy stays to get what I can't finished up and then comes home. I love how we can do this together and somehow we always manage to get everything done just fine. Someone lately said we complement each other and each other's skills so well - that's how we make it all happen.

Andy's sister, Connie, has been gone now three years. She is still missed, but it doesn't hurt so bad as we know where she is and that we will see her again. Loosing Dad is still fresh, but getting there. Loosing family that are so close is really rough.

February 2, 2009

Well, today is "Ground Hog Day" and we are to once again get 6 weeks more of winter. I'm really getting tired of all this snow and cold, but 6 more weeks and it will technically be spring anyway.

Blood work was good from the last Dr visit and in a couple of weeks I'll see the plastic surgeon again. Then in March, I have to see the original surgeon again to see how my body is doing with all of the changes that have happened. There are times that my muscles seem to want to be where they were, and then realize that they need to get into the 'new' place. This sort of surprise movement is always interesting. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it just feels really strange, and other times it is unbearable.

I had a student come to visit me during lunch today. I had this student a few years back when he was in third grade. He wanted to check on me and tell me how I had made a major influence on his life. If he only knew how much he helped me during that year in third grade. I guess we all touch each other more than we ever imagine. Thank you to each and everyone of you, may you touch people with caring and love.

February 23, 2009

I still can't believe that 2009 is here. It's been almost a year since my first surgery. Today we journed back to the plastic surgeon, Dr. Michael Malcheski (sp? - I know that is wrong - Dr. Mike works better). All is looking well, and if I'm happy about things then we are just on check-ups. Now it will be 3 months before I see them again, so that makes it the end of May, then he said 6 months, and then a year. They are such wonderful people there. They are always so full of encouragement, and can't believe all that I'm trying to do and how well I'm doing. They just love my curly hair. Some people pay dearly for this type of hair-do. I used to be one of them, years ago. Some people wonder where my grey hair is - well I've been fortunate to not have all that much grey just yet. I'm sure I'll get it sooner or later, and when it hits, look out. My hair is about 3 & 1/4th inches in length! I remember when it just wasn't getting started like I thought it would, or like they said. Begins so slowly for sure, drives you crazy, then everyone makes over it like they've not seen hair before.

Life is scary - it's been almost a year - will I make another year, and another? Gets depressing at times. I try not to think about it, but sometimes can't help crying about it.

I'm taking another on-line class, Quantitative Reasoning for Business. Lots of math and difficult problems to do each week, not always fun, but a challenge for sure. So far I've been able to get most of the work completed easier than writing those 20+ page papers that I used to have to write each Saturday for class. Keeps me busy for sure.

March 15, 2009

Sunday, Andy's 50th Birthday was the 6th, he's getting old - ready for AARP he says.

One more week of class. I'm doing well with all of it. Math has always been a strong point for me, so this has been a manageable class. I'm really starting to enjoy it, and I'm getting most of the assignments done before Friday, so that is a plus for the weekends. Economic math, Accounting math, Statistic math and Probability math are all interesting topics.

I go see my original surgeon on March 23 - hopefully I'm finished with him after that day, but who knows.

Plans for the DeMotte Funeral Home are going slow, lots of red tape and prices have changed. We'll get there, but it will take some time.

April 3, 2009

Finished my class in Economics, Accounting, and Statistics - started with a 93.1% and finished with a 96.7%. This was the first class that I could get the work completed during the week and have most of the weekends to do what I wanted. Thinking of taking a class in Operations Management next (in a couple of weeks). Should finish by summer vacation that way.

Saw Dr. Tom (original surgeon) on Monday of Spring Break - March 23rd - I think, see him again in 6 months. They like to keep tabs on you for a longer period of time now about 2 or 3 years after surgery. I told Dr. Tom it was a good thing that I liked him, or coming back to see him so much would not be fun. He's glad for success stories.

April 9, 2009


April 13, 2009

Waiting on results from a test that I had on Tuesday. Having other female problems, so we will see what has to be done. Should know tomorrow, as the doctor had an emergency this afternoon. Hope someone is having a baby!

Well it has been a year ago yesterday (Easter Sunday) that I lost my Dad. We made it through the weekend fairly well. I still miss him and get angry that he would never go to the Dr. don't know if it would have helped or not, but oh well.

Today, I also have the results of my tests from Tuesday - need a D and C so on the 24th of this month. So I'll hopefully get everything everything taken care of and all will be just fine.

April 19, 2009
Spent a wonderful weekend down at the lake. I got the trailer cleaned up and we are almost ready for summer time to spend down there. We are hoping that this weekend we can spend some more time down there as I'm the one who really got to spend most of the weekend down there. Saturday was a beautiful day, and Sunday's rain reminded us that spring is here. April showers, bring May flowers. My tulips here at home are blooming and so are the daffodils.
April 25, 2009

Well, I'm feeling pretty good, but Dr said the anesthesia would be interesting to get over and she was right. Head is 'fuzzy' at times. I have a 3 cm fibroid tumor that we will probably have to deal with and what ever else they find from the D and C. I'll know more after Friday when we meet with her again. I'm so groggy at times today, but I know what is causing it.

I think I'll start a class the following Tuesday to get me through the end of the school year. Then summer vacation will be here and we will deal with whatever we have to deal with. School does not start in North Judson until August 17th so I'll have a little longer vacation than usual, since we've been starting around the 12th for the last few years.

May 13, 2009
I wonder why 13 is so unlucky? Well, today I am to find out what is going to happen - Will I have the thermal oblasion or the hysterectomy? God knows for now and I'll get word later today whenever the Dr calls. I have to travel to the Oncologist this afternoon.
May 31, 2009

Well, it has been a while, it has taken a while to find out what is going to happen. June 23rd, I will have a hysterectomy at St. Anthony's Medical Center in Crown Point. I'll finish teaching on the 2nd of June, and the college class will end on June 15th.

June 7, 2009
Had a nice birthday, had dinner with family and friends at Marti's place, and then had pizza from Kouts for supper. Andy made it to everything even with all that was going on at the funeral home.
June 11, 2009
Hopefully, heading to the Coroner's Conference in Indianapolis, Indiana. Andy needs to get his hours and I have a paper to finish for my class - Operations Management. I'm in the last week, so Monday at midnight this will be over!
June 22, 2009
Well, tomorrow is the day, 7:30 am is the surgery time. Should take about an hour to an hour and a half. I have to stay in the hospital until Thursday. Andy has a visitation that day so life will be interesting this week.
June 28, 2009

Well, I'm home from surgery. I had to deal with blisters from the tape because people do not listen or read the information that you provide them. The blisters are starting to heal and not hurt so bad. Felt like someone was burning me when I took a shower or moved the wrong way. Now I still have to deal with the swelling from surgery, but I'm beginning to feel better from all of it.

Surgery was more involved than expected, as I had more issues that the doctor had to deal with than was normal.

Another slow process, but will have the summer to heal and get better again. Hopefully, I will remember this summer, as last summer with chemo and everything was a blur. I walked to the end of the driveway this morning, the fresh air felt good to breath, and the sunshine felt wonderful. Thank God for the little 'things' in life.

July 1, 2009
Heading to the doctor's office after lunch for a check-up. All is going well, looking good, walk more, don't lift, take care of yourself, get the picture?
July 7, 2009
Watching Mom's dog, Jake, as everyone is fishing, except us. I'm feeling better, but still moving slowly. Have to see the doctor again a week from this Friday. In all actuality, I'm feeling a lot better than I've felt for the last 4 to 5 months. ;-) Glad to have this behind me!
July 13, 2009

Had a long weekend, it would have been Mom and Dad's 51st wedding anniversary Saturday. Then I spoke with someone who is just now going through what I did last year, only she is having other health issues too. Then to top it off her boss fired her from her work, and her step-father just passed away. I guess it is always something, and makes you realize that you might have had it rough, but there are always other people who have it even rougher than you do. This can be a very humbling experience, and yet one that makes you very sad and 'down'.I thank God every day for helping me through all of this, and for being there to carry me through the roughest times. I think that is why we are so busy at the funeral home at times, because it gives both Andy and I something else to think of at the time, and then suddenly it is time to go to the doctor or whatever we had to do.

Friday, I go to the doctor's office from the surgery and see how I'm doing. I'm feeling pretty good for the most part, but I sure can tell that there were issues with my left side toward my hip joint. This area is always tender, and feels sometimes like someone is burning something in there. Other than this I'm feeling much better than I have in a long time. I need to call my oncologist and see what he wants to do now that this is all taken care of - something for later this week.

Well, Dr Mary says see you in three weeks, so August 4th we will make the journey one more time. She'll send Dr. Ray, my oncologist, the information he needs after the next visit so that he can decide what to do with me. So, I'll worry about contacting him later.

July 27, 2009

Well, tomorrow marks 5 weeks from surgery. I'm beginning to feel really well, but still cannot lift over 15 pounds per Dr's orders. I go see Dr. Mary Tuesday of next week, hopefully for the release, but who knows. One thing I've learned over the last year, is that these Dr's like to do lots of follow-ups and checking to make sure you really are 'ok'. I appreciate that.

Andy and I celebrated a quiet 30th wedding anniversary on the 20th. We had been at our little place at the lake for part of the weekend and came home to cook out at home. Nick (our son) had KV's marching band camp that week so he was busy with his life and career. That's good. I know how he loves kids. I tell mine at NJ-SP that they will always be my 'kids', because they will always be younger than I am. 'Kids' are special and it is wonderful being part of their growing and becoming adults trying to make their way in this world.

School begins for teachers on the 17th of August and once again, I'm not so sure I'm ready to go back. I miss the 'kids' but, need some time to just relax. I haven't been able to do that much this summer. Maybe later..............

August 2, 2009

Andy and I just got back from our little trailer on the river. It was a short weekend, but an enjoyable one. We are hoping to get back there later this week to spend some time. We haven't gotten much time to relax and rest this summer with me having surgery again and the funeral home just being so busy. School starts in two weeks and the kids will ask me what I did over vacation - not sure what to tell them. They hate it when I do not do something. I'm hoping that the fish will also agree with us and allow us to catch a few big ones to eat. It's been a long time since I've had a good catfish or some other kinds of fish. Nick and Amanda shared crappie from Wisconsin with us and they were good, but it isn't the same if you didn't help catch them. I miss that part and so does Andy. Hopefully we will have some luck and some good eating.

Tuesday, I go to see Dr. Mary for my 6 week check-up and am sure all will be well. I feel so much better than I did before school was out. Should have had this done a long time ago, but how do you get Dr's to realize this or the INSURANCE companies who want you to play a testing game to be sure. Doesn't feel like this is the best thing most of the time. Oh well. I think I'll start page 3 when I start school. Seems like the thing to do for now.

August 18, 2009

Today is the first day of school for students at NJ-SP. I made it through the day pretty good. I think this semester's classes will be good. Seems like I have a good bunch of students again. I will be starting page three shortly. I wish I would have had one more week off, I think it would have done me some good to have a little more rest. I don't sleep well when Andy's out at night doing Funeral Home or Coroner's stuff. I know he doesn't see so well in the dark and I worry about him.

We did make it to the lake this weekend and sort of got to relax. There were several Coroner's runs for Andy, but he did get to relax on Sunday and that was good. He needs that too. Sometimes this job gets to both of us, but that is what makes us human and 'real'. I'm hoping to get to the lake this weekend for a couple of birthday parties that we are supposed to make Ollie Bolen for. We'll have to teach the KV Band how to make them and not over cook them. They will learn - we'll be around for when they have a booth at the Sandhill Crane Festival in Wheatfield on September 19, 2009. Come and see us and them, and all the GREAT cars that people bring to show.

September 1, 2009
School is going pretty good, but today one more computer went down. Now I have 19 working computers in the lab and 20 students. Life isn't very fun right now, someone have an idea what to do with the extra student? The teacher computer is down and now one of the lab computers is also on the fritzzzzzzz. NOT much fun for now and is very aggravating when the technology people will not come and even look at it. I think the HD is out, or forgot what to do. Joy of joys.
September 12, 2009

Made it through what seemed to be a long week. Homecoming activities are very draining at Judson. Looking forward to the weekend, after the parade in Rensselaer - we'll have the caliaphone there, starts at noon, then on the the lake? Start a Marketing class on Tuesday - look out world, life is going to get busier..........

Yesterday, was different, I still remember where and what I was doing when the Towers went down. It was my first year teaching third grade after teaching computers for 6 years, the day was also the first day of ISTEP testing. Those 3rd graders are now Juniors in high school. Time flies, but memories of this magnatude still linger.

October 12, 2009

I guess it has been a while - sorry. Today was a visit to Dr. Tom G. my original surgeon. He likes how everything has progressed and I do not have to go back for 18 months, so that is a year from Andy's next birthday.

Nicholas is now 29 years old. Oh, to be that age again and know what I know now.

School is going well, and so is my class that I started. Week five starts tomorrow, so 2 weeks to go. Then I think I'll take statistics, which deals with a lot of high level math. Then I think I'll take a break again and rest for the holidays.

November 9, 2009

Statistics class is really deep. sometimes I want to quit, but that isn't me. I am also encouraged knowing that most of the class finds the math problems difficult. Tomorrow makes the beginning of week 3, so almost half way. I managed an almost perfect score in the last class, so I'll get through this one.

Had to stay home from school today -I've been running a fever since late Saturday evening. Went to the doctor today, and he wanted all sorts of test ran, so off to Porter Hospital for that. Good news is I do not have the H1N1 flu, but not sure just what I do have. He doesn't want me going back to school until after he sees me again on Thursday, so this will definitely be a short week for me - hopefully I can go on Friday. I'm on some really strong antibiotics.

I got to go to school on Friday, thank goodness for friends!

November 14, 2009

I think that I will start page 3 at the beginning of the new year. It will not probably be as full as these first two pages, but hopefully someone will have learned how to understand a little of what a person having breast cancer might be going through.

One of my biggest hurdles to overcome is all of these cancer adds, emails, etc. One day they make me cry my eyes out, put me into the biggest downward spiral you can emagine emotionally, and then the next day or so I'm able to say thank you for thinking of me when you got the email, but I do NOT need it forwarded to me. I remember every waking moment of that part of my life, I have been touched by this disease and do NOT need to be reminded. You might need to be reminded, but I do not. I can't do anything that I'm not reminded by moving a muscle that is in my chest and they let me know life isn't the same there at all anymore. Somedays, I wonder would life have been different if I would have had different procedures. There are so many to choose from, and you have to make such quick decisions, because if you wait you can make the situation worse, and then the choices change. NOT something that you want to do for sure.

I love all of the thoughtfullness in the breast cancer gifts, but you could just make a donation, or keep the item yourself so that you remember. I'm constantly reminded of what is going on.

November 27, 2009

December 9, 2009

Hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving. Mine was good. Everyone seemed to have a nice time.

I see the Oncologist on Monday after school unless he cancels again.

The visit to the Doctor was good. I was the healthiest person he'd seen in a while. ;-) I feel so sorry for some of his patients, they really look bad when they leave his office. Andy says I looked like that when I was going through treatment. I'm glad I didn't notice that look. It is sad for sure. Anyway, see him again in 3 months which will be my 2 year anniversary of my first surgery. Wow, how time flies when you are having fun - NOT! I have no clue where the first year went other than trying to survive, and taking care of me. The second year was going pretty well, but I needed surgery again. I'm so glad that I feel so much better after the hysterectomy in June. I'm doing pretty well. I'm tired now, but after finishing 2 classes back-to-back online, teaching and helping with the funeral home. It is no wonder that I'm tired. The end of the semester is drawing near and I need to create final exams. I'll rest over Christmas Break - I hope.

January 11, 2009

It has definitely been a while. Andy and I had a nice quiet Christmas Break. Everyone was here for Christmas Eve and a good time was had by all.

I will definitely be starting the 'page' three next entry. The last few weeks have been rough again, more of an emotional issue than anything else. The reality of possibly not being around next year, or the following year, or maybe the year after that is a very scary issue. The Lord knows what he wants me to do, who he wants me to help, and I'm sure that I'll do my part when the 'time' is 'right', but this is so scary at times. You want to be here for your children, and hopefully someday grandchildren, but you never know, and having had cancer makes this all so much more real and threatening. I've got to dig myself out of this hole I seem to have fallen into, God will help me if I ask. I've been asking, but wow what a hole. I thank God for the rest that I managed to get over break to give me strength to tackle the new students I now have again. Remember January is like August to me, new classes and a new bunch of kids to get settled into the routine. On January 19th I start a Finance class for 6 weeks, and when it is finished I will have only one more to go. Can't wait for all of this to be over! The light at the end of that tunnel is getting brighter all of the time.

This is a link to a really neat video on youTube. A hospital bought pink latex gloves for everyone and they danced to a song for Breast Cancer Awareness. Enjoy the link.


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